(1) Physical appearance
This is the most superficial of the lot, but reality is that it plays the most important role in relational development. Many people are drawn to good looking individuals. Take for instance you spot a really good looking boy at a party. You are completely mesmerized by his looks and you can’t stop yourself from looking at him. And you know they say if you stare at someone long enough the person ends up staring back at you? Imagine he catches a glimpse of you and gives you a light smile while raising his glass of wine a little. You would definitely consider finding an opportunity to strike a conversation with him, wouldn’t you?
(2) SimilarityMany people tend to fall for people whose interests are very much alike. Take Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for example. They have one common interest for sure- CHILDREN!
Or David and Victoria Beckham and their passion for fashion. Bottom line I guess having similarities play a big role in keeping couples together because it reduces the risks of conflicts occurring for one, and also I believe it makes you feel “connected” to each other.
(3) Dissimilarities or complements
On the contrary, we can also apply the famous “opposites attract” theory . People may feel they function better together than separately. I remember reading a book by Doris Lessings titled “The Grass is singing”. In that novel, the character Mary Turner mentioned “she needed a man stronger than her”. This is an example of how he would complement her in terms of his strength. Actually, even taking a simple example of an ordinary couple can illustrate this point. A husband who can’t cook marries a wife who happens to be a very good cook. He can work for the family, and come home to a delicious spread of his favourite dishes. J
Sometimes dissimilarities also draw people together because they enjoy the “missing factor” in themselves. Someone who isn’t very daring may find it rather exciting watching the opposite do fun, adventurous things. Both ways, I guess is an appropriate time for couples to feel say they “Complete” each other.
Basically I realised I shouldn’t have judged the physical appearance of the couple on the train. Maybe they fell in love under the 2nd category : Dissimilarities. Maybe they complement each other. Sorry couple! By the way, there are many other factors that influence the choice of a suitable partner. Any new ones you can name?
2 comments:
hmmm you missed out a very important category. what you listed is good for the initial attracting factor, but then you need something to hold people together, and looks really don't do that too well. Once attracted to a person, their personality can be a huge factor as to whether the couple sticks together or not right? Like how funny a person is, or how nice, or how headstrong or protective a person is. These things can fix a relationship in cement. Very important indeed!
Hi! I've got to admit this too... I tend to look at couples whom I see on the streets or on public transports and at times I feel they do not match at all!
However, this could probably be due to the fact that sometimes we are attracted to certain unique characteristics that someone has that in our opinion, separates them from others.
Speaking from my personal experience, I was attracted to my junior college classmate, a chinese guy who is shorter than me
and smaller-sized than I am. What I think I was physically attracted to was his good-looking face and bright smile. But what I really loved about him was his fun loving personality.
I guess this is also why I agree with pratik's comment. To me, personality does play the biggest role in making a relationship stay strong. Physical attractiveness is indeed important; however, I feel its importance fades with time. (:
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